Falling in & out.

♥Love & To Be Loved

Oh my, I can’t believe how fast time flies. It’s like I just stepped in year 2011 and now it’s the end of the year already. Let’s hope December will be better cause I really need that lol.

I’ve must say that this year is pretty harsh on me say, friendship, works, family, relatives and of course relationship. I breakdown I cry I stumble I fall, a couple of times. However from what I’ve encountered, I truly believe in the saying of everything happens for a reason.

On a brighter note, my work is my least concern right now I’m glad that I accepted this job offer. Despite some inevitable team conflicts, well, my colleagues are pretty awesome & I enjoy working with them.

And to be honest, it’s been ages since I feel this happy & blessed. I treasure everything and everyone I have right now right here. And one thing I realized, I can be loved by those I care this much. I mean how much they show me that I actually mean something to them., that I’m not replaceable or unnecessary, that they’ll make a lil’ effort so that I’ll stay, that my existence matters to them. :) Thank you so much loves, for all the supports when I thought I couldn’t make through it. Now I’m stronger than ever.

P/s: I just gotta thanks to that special someone. I don’t know what I’ll do without you around when I’m lost. You helped me HELL LOTS. Words can’t even describe how much you did for me. You’re always there you never lie to me. Thank you. You pointed out my wrongs, you taught me how to get over my bad habits, you won’t get sick of telling me how extraordinary how beautiful I am. You're like an angel sent for me. :)

I feel loved & precious. In fact I’m being pampered all this while just that I neglect the attention I already have due to the ONLY craves for the attention of SOMEONE.

Read something that I couldn’t agree more written by a friend, I was raised with first grade love so I’m not settling for second grade from no boy. I promised myself I wouldn't torture myself for someone who doesn’t even worth it. Be smart & be rational.

Btw, am back at home sweet home. I know I seem a lil’ bit like party animal for those who know me but the fact is I really love spending time with my family. Never mind just lazying around at home, watching DVD or just talk. I love my family more than anyone could imagine & I always know that they’re those who TRULY adore you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. They’re just gonna be there.And when I’m at home, I settle down & I take my time to order my inmost thoughts.

As I grow up, the world doesn't seem as pretty or perfect as it used to be. In fact it has its hideous side that I just wanna runaway from. Instead of pointing my fingers to everyone else for my dreadful year, I think it’s time to reflect on myself. My egoistic, my stubbornness, my intolerance, & my so-called principles. All I wanna say is my own attitudes contribute to my sucky year as well. I couldn’t throw the blames away because I myself are partly responsible for what happened as well. I guess my most humble & practical new year resolution would be working on my attitudes, I guess that’s a pretty good kickoff for my 2012! :)

And yeah, as for those who are still wondering why I disappeared from FB, please don’t blast my phone with the same question already. Lol. I’m just taking some time off from some chaos which really gives me severe migraine. I DIDN’T BLOCK ANYONE, I DEACTIVATE MY FB. The least thing I need now is drama, so I’ll activate my FB back when things are settled & when I feel better.

I’m really confused & bewildered right now. When you asked me to think on your behalf, please think on mine as well. How long or how much it gonna takes for you to KNOW/DIFFERENTIATE who to trust when your most beloved one betrayed you before. That’s the time I thought I SHOULD TRUST HIM/HER. Not even a slight doubts. But what happened in the end? I’m not blaming anyone here, I just want some to know how I feel. For the record, I didn’t want or I didn’t choose to be a mad girl who is full of suspicion. This is so tiring. I had insomnia, I couldn’t concentrate on my work. I had this before, I don’t wanna face this all over again. And yes, people change, everyone deserves a second chance. And yup, actions speak louder than words. That’s all I can say. :) I just want my simple life back. No drama, no conflicts, no lies, no hurts, at least not from my beloved ones. So am I asking too much?

Anyway, can’t wait for Christmas. Don’t you lovely people think the same way? ;)

Please listen to this song kay?



And you won't wanna miss this ;)


Yours truly, with happy grin. :D

Loves. Caryne. XO! :)

♥Dream High, Dreamers. :)

♥Love & To Be Loved

Came to realize I’ve been taking a break for way too long. All my dreams all my goals that I promised myself that I would work hard to achieve it, I can’t believe I wore it off in time.

Well, the thing is I tend to get about a great deal with several new close friends; I have sometime on my own to marshal my thoughts alone. A simple trip would help me to take me out of myself, so that’s what I’ve been doing lately. Intermingling with buddies from different states, meeting new friends & experiencing unlike customs help me to give deeper thoughts & see matters/things from different angles and perspectives. Frankly, I picked up a lot from them. I must say they’re a very great inspiration to me. They’re like very unlike people from different background & different states gathered together, but all of them have one thing in common which they dream high & they always keep faith in what they’re dreaming about. Should I say they appear just in time in my life to remind me that I used to be just like them? I have no idea that dream that I had, I ALMOST leave it behind. Thanks for the heads up GUYS. X.

Time to recollect the forgotten dream, pick up my pace and yeah, I’ll be back to my game soon. ;)

Good luck to you lovely people, me myself and my new job. I can do this; we can do this. Let’s make our dreams come true. And we’ll be what we want to be when we meet again. X!

太多分心，之所以误以为那是一切的一切。

误以为那是一切的一切，所以遗忘了原本的梦想。

重拾遗忘的梦想，之所以你们。

下一次见面，一定要比之前更一步接近自己的梦想。

一小步，一小步。

一起加油吧。

♥Can I rewind so that we can make it right?

♥Love & To Be Loved

She all laid up in bed with a broken heart

While I'm drinking Jack all alone in my local bar

And I don't know how we got into this mad situation

Only do things out of frustration

Trying to make it work but man these times are hard.

She needs me now but I can't seem to find a time

I've get a new job now in the unemployment time

We don't know how we got into this mess it's a God test

Somebody help us cause we're doing our best

Trying to make it work but man these times are hard.

But we're gonna start by drinking old cheap bottles of wine

Sit talking up all night

Saying things we haven't for a while, a while yeah.

We're smiling but we close to tears

Even after all these years

We just now got the feeling that we're meeting

FOR THE FIRST TIME.

Oh these times are hard

Yeah they're making us crazy

Don't give up on me baby.

The Script - For the first time

When I ask you to listen to the song, there's everything inside that I wanna let you know. :)

XX! Much lurves, Caryne.

♥A better day.

♥Love & To Be Loved

Hmm. I don't know why I'm still wide awake at this hour. Insomnia. My dark eye circles are getting super visible recently. I've been having mood swing and I think I seriously need a vacation. :) Friends are complaining that I was being way too emo for most of my posts because I used to have cheerful habit of mind. Lol. I'll be better loves. Following my path back to when things are not this complicated.


Well, enough with these craps. Let's continue with something happier. Remember my dearest roommie, Chiew Bee? We're very close to each others, we were roommies for almost 2 years? If I'm not mistaken? Reminiscing having pillow talks with her every night before we fall asleep, and how we got scared from the thunder & lightning during late rainy days, and how we showed each others our new apparels and catwalk inside our little room, and how we teased each others about our new flings she LOL at me/I LOL at her when any of us blushed, made me miss her even more. Haha. I still remember when we tease each others, our reactions would be exactly the same where we'll be rolling left and right with the blanket, blushed and smile, then shouted," NO ROOMMIEEEE, I DIDN'T!! / NO ROOMMIEEEE, WE'RE JUST FRIENDS!!" HAHAHA!

P/S: Still remember that roommie? ;) HEHE!


However, the funny part is, we never hang out together for the 2 years period where we stayed together. Funny aye? I guess it's because of the clashes of class schedules, hangout with our own gangs, assignments clashes, tests clashes and so on. Sad right? :/


Anyway, we had our first date recently! Oh well, I know it sounds cliche, but better late than never, no? ;)


Soooo, we went all crazy shopping from 1st Avenue to Prangin Mall, to Gurney Plaza and lastly B'worth (Pantai Bersih) for seafood feast! ;) Eh hem, and as for the seafood part, we were planning to go for Raja Uda tomyam mee as to fulfill my crave but I WAS FREAKING LOST and I ended up at Pantai Bersih. I seriously don't know how I got there. Lol. Luckily Nick and Kay Sen came to rescue. So we settled our meal there. But the food was freaking awesome though!

Very breathtaking seaview.

Very peaceful evening. :)

Being funny. Lol.

Camwhore tak henti2! Lol.

The so-so 'mee tiao'.

Soft shell crabs are fried with marinated egg yolk and slight spicy-ness due to curry powder makes it delicious and crisp. Highly recommend.
Mentis prawn fried with marinated egg yolk. It is so crispy that you can't stop eating once you have a bite of it.
A must for the order list. ;)

Since I missed my tomyam mee, so we ordered this tomyam soup just to fulfill my craves. Lol. Surprisingly, it was pretty good though ;)

I don't know whether this is LALA or not. I'm confused. There are so many types of LALA. I guess it's one type of it. Lil bit of sour and lil bit of spicy flavor. Pretty good choice as appetizer.

Sayangku.

Windy evening. Hence messy hair!

Funny attempt. Epic fail! Lol. Roommie and I kept on laughing cause we were so close to each others that we felt like we almost kissed! HAHAHA! And look at Nick's expression -.- Like kena forced wtf.

Samsung Galaxy S2! :)

New way of camwhore. Coach: The Professional Mr Sim Kay Sen.
Without flash.

Flash! @@

My old time fave. Big head shots.
Big thanks to my super roommie! Me likey!

I'm so in love with roommie's Sony Nex!
Am so getting one! Tempted to request from daddy!
But no way! I'm setting Dear Jaclyn as role model. ;)
Earn money myself and buy myself! Good luck to me!


I'll end the post with vain pics of mine.
<3 Much loves, Caryne. XX!

P/S: No matter how rare we see each others, no matter how far we're apart,
you always play an important part of my life. :)

♥Stereo Hearts.

♥Love & To Be Loved

It's been ages since I write. Life's been busy and things have changed with the passage of time. For those who don't know, I quit my job. People says nothing comes easy and you just gotta sacrifice or work hard in order to achieve the goal. Very true indeed. I suffered like HELL for my job, no kidding. I worked my ass off in order to prove that I'm able to do to the job right and I'm deserved to be in the firm. But somehow, my hard works are not appreciated and I've been told this is still not enough. I was so helpless and I broke down for like 932014932 times! Parent was pretty heartache and they advised me to quit saying, there are always better jobs out there, probably one which is much suitable for me. Daddy told me that salary doesn't matter, the most important thing is I'm happy working and that's that. Then all my relatives stepped in and I'm telling you, they are really good in making me cry like a baby girl. Lol. I can't help but feeling like I'm the most blessed girl in the world because of all the cares I always got. Not to mention my girlfriends who have been complaining non-stop and forcing me to quit. They were freaking worried about my safety since I'd to do OT 24/7 until 10pm or 11pm and there are quite a few robbery happened there at our parking lots. So all I wish now is, I could find a job that is suitable for me and my future. :)

The important thing in life is to have a great aim, and the determination to attain it.-- Goethe

1 thing that I'm glad it stays the same is we're still together. ♥ I'll be a big fat liar if I say that we're all good 24/7 because that's impossible. In fact, we have small and big conflicts. Hence arguments. Yes, sometimes we unintentionally throw some hurtful words towards each others and this really tore us apart. Anyway, I'm glad that after each quarrel we talked things out and reached full agreement.

Plus, we barely have time for each others which makes thing harder than it already is. Well, who doesn't want to spend time with their loved one and sometimes when I really miss him, I wish I can have him right next to me just to cuddle with him and tell him how much I miss him. But I gotta understand that he has to work and he gets tired after work. I wish to have his texts or have him call me frequently but I gotta understand that he's not a multitasker and he needs to concentrate on his work. I know sometimes I nag that he doesn't have enough time for me, but all I hope is some comforts from him then I'll be okay.

I want this relationship to work out, so I'll learn to be a good girlfriend. And I always believe action speaks louder than words so I'll prove it. ;) I hope he'll feel the same too? Teehee!


People says you don't know how much someone meant to you until you lose it. But having the slight thought of losing him kills me! Everytime I look at him, I feel like hugging him tight and never let go. The toughest moment for our date is saying goodbye with him at the end of our date because I don't know how long it's gonna be until our next one. :'(
And I just love to see him sleeping soundly beside me. So adorable. That's the moment I know he meant the world to me and I just want to love him as much as I can.


I love you, bie. :) Hell lots.

My heart's a stereo
It beats for your, so listen close
Hear my thoughts in every note

Make me your radio
Turn me up when you feel low
This melody was meant for you
Just sing along to my stereo



XX! Much lurves, Caryne.

♥I'm awake in the infinite cold, but you sing to me over & over again.

♥Love & To Be Loved

To you know who you are,

Thank You :)
Thanks for everything.
I'll keep it forever. I swear.

And I'm sorry.
Sorry for everything.
I wish I could do something to make you feel better 'cause you deserve it.

You know you always have my best wish.
Please bear that in your mind.
XX! :)





XX! Much lurves, Caryne.

Say Hello to Goodbye.

Show encrypted text

To you. :)

She knows better but she can’t help it.

What will we end up be? Are we even through Stage 3 by any chance, to do all the things that a couple would do? 'Whether it's taking each others for granted or people's changing over time, the bottomline is one side stop trying and the feeling is not as strong as before". Is it true? That someone used to be so important to you before just becomes… not so important anymore, like… so easily. Are all relationships will end up in fragmental pieces of memory? That it would eventually reach the most awful stages ever, downhill and breaking up in the end?

I suffered myself when I truly care. I start to question myself, do they appreciate that you actually CARE or they just think that you're being such a nuisance? I struggled, I cried & I lost whenever I think about that. All those thoughts keep messing with my mind. And screw you, do you think I would give a damn about this if it doesn't freaking matter to me?! So stop telling me that I'm thinking too much or I'm being too sensitive! I'm so sick of you all putting that in my head.

Nothing can feel as worse as this, the uncertainty and the fact that you couldn't find any answer. In the end, I choose to care less. Yeah, it helped a lot by being this way. If you ask me whether I'm truly happy? Frankly, I don't know. But one thing I know for sure, I didn't wake up with my pillow all wet with tears the next morning recently. So yeah. Life is too short for all of these craps. I realized I have much important stuffs and problem to attend with. This is like physical and mental exertion because I think it's matter to me but others might not think the same way. I need to steer clear of dissipation and guard my peace of mind, so I'm done with that. :)

Well, I don't know whether I'm being pathetic or being independent. I'm starting to get used to this I-AM-ALL-BY-MYSELF life. Wherever I wanna go, I drive myself; wherever I wanna eat, I buy myself. I take care of myself & call from home does give me a terrific boost. And once in a while, babe Jac would date me for dinner at least once a week. Whenever she's free, she'll ring me up. Thanks babe, for making me feels like I'm actually mattered. I always believe that, when you really matter to someone, that person will always make time for you. No excuses, no lies, no broken promises.
Enough said.

I don't know I'm trying to have some faith or I'm just trying to runaway from the truth. I guess I'm numb. => You better start worrying when I'm numb. Cause when I don't give a damn, I DON'T give a damn about it anymore. :)

• What will you think will happen if we don't end up together?
  
• What if life separates us?
  
• What if…

Us being crazy @ Starbucks, then F21, Coffee Bean, MNG & so on!
Awesome day!

Sigh. I miss you girls already.

XX! Much lurves, Caryne.

♥What is right & What is wrong.

♥Love & To Be Loved

When life gives you lemon, you make lemonade. :)

The truth is, reality is too cruel and things gone wild and outta control for most of the time. We just have to accept the fact that if life lets you down, you gotta stand up on your feet all by yourself again. Nobody is responsible for making your life better, and nobody is responsible to take care of your life, so you just gotta depend on yourself.


So stop expecting someone to come saddle up a white horse and come to rescue. Stay strong. :)

Yours truly.

XX! Much lurves, Caryne.