Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Falling in & out.

♥Love & To Be Loved

Oh my, I can’t believe how fast time flies. It’s like I just stepped in year 2011 and now it’s the end of the year already. Let’s hope December will be better cause I really need that lol.

I’ve must say that this year is pretty harsh on me say, friendship, works, family, relatives and of course relationship. I breakdown I cry I stumble I fall, a couple of times. However from what I’ve encountered, I truly believe in the saying of everything happens for a reason.

On a brighter note, my work is my least concern right now I’m glad that I accepted this job offer. Despite some inevitable team conflicts, well, my colleagues are pretty awesome & I enjoy working with them.

And to be honest, it’s been ages since I feel this happy & blessed. I treasure everything and everyone I have right now right here. And one thing I realized, I can be loved by those I care this much. I mean how much they show me that I actually mean something to them., that I’m not replaceable or unnecessary, that they’ll make a lil’ effort so that I’ll stay, that my existence matters to them. :) Thank you so much loves, for all the supports when I thought I couldn’t make through it. Now I’m stronger than ever.

P/s: I just gotta thanks to that special someone. I don’t know what I’ll do without you around when I’m lost. You helped me HELL LOTS. Words can’t even describe how much you did for me. You’re always there you never lie to me. Thank you. You pointed out my wrongs, you taught me how to get over my bad habits, you won’t get sick of telling me how extraordinary how beautiful I am. You're like an angel sent for me. :)

I feel loved & precious. In fact I’m being pampered all this while just that I neglect the attention I already have due to the ONLY craves for the attention of SOMEONE.

Read something that I couldn’t agree more written by a friend, I was raised with first grade love so I’m not settling for second grade from no boy. I promised myself I wouldn't torture myself for someone who doesn’t even worth it. Be smart & be rational.

Btw, am back at home sweet home. I know I seem a lil’ bit like party animal for those who know me but the fact is I really love spending time with my family. Never mind just lazying around at home, watching DVD or just talk. I love my family more than anyone could imagine & I always know that they’re those who TRULY adore you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. They’re just gonna be there.And when I’m at home, I settle down & I take my time to order my inmost thoughts.

As I grow up, the world doesn't seem as pretty or perfect as it used to be. In fact it has its hideous side that I just wanna runaway from. Instead of pointing my fingers to everyone else for my dreadful year, I think it’s time to reflect on myself. My egoistic, my stubbornness, my intolerance, & my so-called principles. All I wanna say is my own attitudes contribute to my sucky year as well. I couldn’t throw the blames away because I myself are partly responsible for what happened as well. I guess my most humble & practical new year resolution would be working on my attitudes, I guess that’s a pretty good kickoff for my 2012! :)

And yeah, as for those who are still wondering why I disappeared from FB, please don’t blast my phone with the same question already. Lol. I’m just taking some time off from some chaos which really gives me severe migraine. I DIDN’T BLOCK ANYONE, I DEACTIVATE MY FB. The least thing I need now is drama, so I’ll activate my FB back when things are settled & when I feel better.

I’m really confused & bewildered right now. When you asked me to think on your behalf, please think on mine as well. How long or how much it gonna takes for you to KNOW/DIFFERENTIATE who to trust when your most beloved one betrayed you before. That’s the time I thought I SHOULD TRUST HIM/HER. Not even a slight doubts. But what happened in the end? I’m not blaming anyone here, I just want some to know how I feel. For the record, I didn’t want or I didn’t choose to be a mad girl who is full of suspicion. This is so tiring. I had insomnia, I couldn’t concentrate on my work. I had this before, I don’t wanna face this all over again. And yes, people change, everyone deserves a second chance. And yup, actions speak louder than words. That’s all I can say. :) I just want my simple life back. No drama, no conflicts, no lies, no hurts, at least not from my beloved ones. So am I asking too much?

Anyway, can’t wait for Christmas. Don’t you lovely people think the same way? ;)

Please listen to this song kay?

And you won't wanna miss this ;)

Yours truly, with happy grin. :D

Loves. Caryne. XO! :)