This is so pathetic. I feel so pathetic.
I go out all the times. Hang out with many gangs, many friends.
But sometimes when I'm all alone, I feel like I don't really belong to anyone.
Am I a bff, a real one, to anyone? Or I'm just an option for them?
It doesn't really matter if I gone disappear?
Like... I can be disposed of, just like that...
I show strong personality,
I smile in front of people,
I smile even my heart is bleeding inside,
I smile even if I'm carrying so many secrets inside that I feel like I'm suffocating,
I smile if I have so many problems and I can only deal with it on my own.
I don't cry in front of people.
I don't share my secrets not because I find it hard to trust someone.
It's because I scare someday I'll rely on the someone, he/she'll leave me, Again.
Yes, I do feel like I'm an option for everyone else.
And no, you don't know how hurt it is.