Gahhh! I'm having ma 2 weeks mandate leaves right now & I don't even feel excited. How can that beeeee! I mean c'mon, where am I supposed to go holiday with when all my babes are either studying or working! OHMIGAWD this is so not happening.
Anyway, enough with the whines, I'm pretty confused with this complicated relationship and sometimes I don't really know what to do. Due to some past cases that I can't let go of, it's really become the barrier of us being THERE you know. It's always feel like so near yet so far. Its like we've gone this far but we're stuck. Things go on and off, good and bad, and this kinda drive me/him/us crazy.
I don't even know is it my problem being childish or it is normal that I can't help it but thinking those conversations he&her having. How he said he missed her or how he worried/agitated when she ignored him or how happy he was that she's coming back to town that they plan to meet up or how he texted her everyday&immediately but not me. Or flirting with another her, the urge to get to know everything about her, the same time having conversation with me and her, but replying me with a few cold words, but hers? all those sweet talks. THOSE sweet talks that both of us USED TO HAVE. The sweet sarcastic words they told each others in FB because they bumped into each others in college but never say HI. All these craps when we were in a relationship. It freaked me out, THIS freaked me out. it's just feel like... He loves her or her.
All these conversations. All these girls. And those lovely posts she wrote for you. They're stuck in my brain. I cursed them. I can't tell how much I loathe them. I even WISH so badly they could just rot in hell. Or better still, I'm praying SO HARD that they'd just face the exact same shit. And being exact paranoid like me RIGHT NOW.
Guide me pls. Anyone? :(
I just wanna be happy.