People change, all the time. And the fact is you couldn't do anything but to suck it up.
I'm tired, seriously.
Tired of being emo, tired of being suspicious to everything, tired of being low self-esteem, tired of crying to myself.
Like an idiot. Yea, I'm an idiot.
I even started to judge myself & doubted my true personality.
You guys might think that oh, she doesn't mind, or I don't bother about her, but do try to step in my shoes and think on my behalf.
What would you guys feel if gotten a short shrift from someone that you care a lot?
I don't even know what I've done to deserve such treatment.
This is beyond my endurance, I'm sorry. I can't even fake a freaking smile anymore.
So, I don't matter to you guys after all?
After all the loves and cares we poured and shared?
It doesn't matter?
I care way too much, that's why I broke down, easily.
They said, you have more than this, Caryne's courage is more than this.
I MUST have more than this.
They said, of course you can cry, you can be sad, but just for this period, alright? After this, we want to see you standing up, STRONG.
I MUST be strong.
They said, maybe some people might disappoint you, but luckily you made enough best friends, & they'll stand by you no matter what.
I do have & I do lost. I'm afraid same things gonna happened all over again. In the end, I have no one.
Anyway, thanks to you guys. I'm better off. I might be down all of a sudden but please bear with me.
I need you guys to go through this with me.
I'm too tired masking myself well in order to please everyone.