Monday, January 9, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Monday, January 2, 2012
All these are just wrong.
Thanks for the head up, dear someone. I can’t believe I’m being this selfish all this while. I don’t have the right to just make someone’s life miserable because of the past that I can’t let go. How can I be so unfair to that someone?
I made myself being loathed by my friends I disappointed them. I start to think whether all these worth it or I’m just being blindfolded again. Damn myself.
Enough is enough. Before I clear my mind, before I mess my life & others’ life, this just gotta stop.
XO! Caryne.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Complication. </3
I know how hurt it could be so I mustn't do this again. No way.
So what should I do? :(
Thursday, December 29, 2011
</3
Somebody please guide me. I feel really bad right now. I don't wanna feel this way. :(
Friday, December 23, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Falling in & out.
Oh my, I can’t believe how fast time flies. It’s like I just stepped in year 2011 and now it’s the end of the year already. Let’s hope December will be better cause I really need that lol.
I’ve must say that this year is pretty harsh on me say, friendship, works, family, relatives and of course relationship. I breakdown I cry I stumble I fall, a couple of times. However from what I’ve encountered, I truly believe in the saying of everything happens for a reason.
On a brighter note, my work is my least concern right now I’m glad that I accepted this job offer. Despite some inevitable team conflicts, well, my colleagues are pretty awesome & I enjoy working with them.
And to be honest, it’s been ages since I feel this happy & blessed. I treasure everything and everyone I have right now right here. And one thing I realized, I can be loved by those I care this much. I mean how much they show me that I actually mean something to them., that I’m not replaceable or unnecessary, that they’ll make a lil’ effort so that I’ll stay, that my existence matters to them. :) Thank you so much loves, for all the supports when I thought I couldn’t make through it. Now I’m stronger than ever.
P/s: I just gotta thanks to that special someone. I don’t know what I’ll do without you around when I’m lost. You helped me HELL LOTS. Words can’t even describe how much you did for me. You’re always there you never lie to me. Thank you. You pointed out my wrongs, you taught me how to get over my bad habits, you won’t get sick of telling me how extraordinary how beautiful I am. You're like an angel sent for me. :)
I feel loved & precious. In fact I’m being pampered all this while just that I neglect the attention I already have due to the ONLY craves for the attention of SOMEONE.
Read something that I couldn’t agree more written by a friend, I was raised with first grade love so I’m not settling for second grade from no boy. I promised myself I wouldn't torture myself for someone who doesn’t even worth it. Be smart & be rational.
Btw, am back at home sweet home. I know I seem a lil’ bit like party animal for those who know me but the fact is I really love spending time with my family. Never mind just lazying around at home, watching DVD or just talk. I love my family more than anyone could imagine & I always know that they’re those who TRULY adore you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. They’re just gonna be there.And when I’m at home, I settle down & I take my time to order my inmost thoughts.
As I grow up, the world doesn't seem as pretty or perfect as it used to be. In fact it has its hideous side that I just wanna runaway from. Instead of pointing my fingers to everyone else for my dreadful year, I think it’s time to reflect on myself. My egoistic, my stubbornness, my intolerance, & my so-called principles. All I wanna say is my own attitudes contribute to my sucky year as well. I couldn’t throw the blames away because I myself are partly responsible for what happened as well. I guess my most humble & practical new year resolution would be working on my attitudes, I guess that’s a pretty good kickoff for my 2012! :)
And yeah, as for those who are still wondering why I disappeared from FB, please don’t blast my phone with the same question already. Lol. I’m just taking some time off from some chaos which really gives me severe migraine. I DIDN’T BLOCK ANYONE, I DEACTIVATE MY FB. The least thing I need now is drama, so I’ll activate my FB back when things are settled & when I feel better.
I’m really confused & bewildered right now. When you asked me to think on your behalf, please think on mine as well. How long or how much it gonna takes for you to KNOW/DIFFERENTIATE who to trust when your most beloved one betrayed you before. That’s the time I thought I SHOULD TRUST HIM/HER. Not even a slight doubts. But what happened in the end? I’m not blaming anyone here, I just want some to know how I feel. For the record, I didn’t want or I didn’t choose to be a mad girl who is full of suspicion. This is so tiring. I had insomnia, I couldn’t concentrate on my work. I had this before, I don’t wanna face this all over again. And yes, people change, everyone deserves a second chance. And yup, actions speak louder than words. That’s all I can say. :) I just want my simple life back. No drama, no conflicts, no lies, no hurts, at least not from my beloved ones. So am I asking too much?
Anyway, can’t wait for Christmas. Don’t you lovely people think the same way? ;)
And you won't wanna miss this ;)
Yours truly, with happy grin. :DLoves. Caryne. XO! :)
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Get up & go. :)
Love is blind.
我好像了解了。没理由的坚持。没理由的守候。无法解释。
我以为爱得无法自拔，我以为失去他我会失去一切，我以为装傻乖乖的守候没关系。
因为只想自私的拥有，所以义无反顾地紧抓这段不可能的感情，说什么都不放。
曾经天真的以为只是煎熬，曾经愚蠢的相信那些牵强的理由，而不顾一切的陷进去。
这个他说没有谁没了谁就不能活了，那个他说没了信任就别再自欺欺人，装傻并不代表问题解决了。
都make sense，只是都听不进去。
或许我累了，累了抱着被泪湿透的枕头入眠，我只想安稳的睡着。
累了伤的满是伤痕，我只想要回自己真实的微笑。
累了不懂什么理由而无止境的争吵，我只想一整天都蹦蹦跳跳的毫无顾虑。
真的，别人说一千遍一万遍，你不想放，谁也帮不了你。
想通了，你就能狠心放下。
想通了，就懂得放开他的同时，你也放开自己。
没有后悔我的决定，因为我发现原来我比我想象中坚强。
我驾着车，他问道，最近还好吗？
我说，我放下了心中的大石。
对啊，好久好久没有这种感觉了。
踏实却轻松了的一颗心。
Get up & go, take a chance & be strong.
Or you can spend your whole life holding on.
Don’t look back just go, take a breath move along.
Or you can spend your whole life holding on.
亲爱的心，
对不起，让你碎了一遍地，一次又一次。我答应会让你好过点了。我答应会让我好过点。
我叮咛自己，要用曾经在感情的坚持向定下的目标不会累的往前。
一个没有目标的人，不会成功。一个没能成功的人，就什么都没了。
My plans. (:
现在的我很幸福。
至少我不会半夜乍醒。我不会害怕雨声。
至少现在的我钻进被子里是觉得温暖的。
至少现在的我渐渐忘了躲在被子里啜泣的心痛。
Gotta learn that it’s not easy, because life is not always pretty.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Black is Back with Arthur’s Day 2011
